I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
