whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
