Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
