there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
