someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
