I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
