Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
