A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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