...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
