Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
