dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
