He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
