Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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