it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
