Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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