I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think a kid would responsible me up
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
