Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
