I am in a vortex of obligation.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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