Where are you?
In a non slutty way
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
