I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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