Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
