Me too!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
