I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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