Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
