Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
