We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
