yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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