I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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