His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
