and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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