just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
