the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
