she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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