All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
