Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
