he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
