Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
