Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
