Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Found your dick twin last night
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The power of my boobs compel you
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
