I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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