pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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