Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
