My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she told me i tasted like america
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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