You're so nebulous sometimes
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
