everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
