I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
