She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
