you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
