Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
