someone owes me an orgasm
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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